Spring hasn't quite gotten here, evidenced mostly by the sub-freezing temperatures we've been enjoying here in Atlanta, but the time for Spring Training is drawing nigh.

In past seasons, I've spent about 6 weeks in Orlando covering the team for 640 WGST and preparing for the preseason games.  Most of my "preparation" involved going to the ballpark early, recording some player comments, and then drinking beer and watching college basketball the rest of the day.  It's really not a bad gig.

This year, however, I will not be trekking down to Central Florida until early March, and only for the games we broadcast.  You see, after two years of spending a month and a half at the Disney Region of Orlando, it's almost like a vacation when you DON'T have to go.

I know a lot of you are saying, "oh, poor Jake.  He had to spend 6 weeks at Disney Land World.  He has it sooo tough with his great smile and tendency to date exotic lingerie models."

Like I said before, my days consisted of mainly beer and NCAA hoops.  I can do that in Atlanta.

The real reason that this preseason is such a reprieve is that I tend to develop really bad habits when I'm not kept busy by the dealings of everyday life.  Here are a few that I can share:



1) Wal-Mart- I probably went to the Wal Marts 5 times per week while in Orlando.  That's 30 extra trips to Wal Mart I wouldn't have otherwise taken.  That's roughly $300 in unecessary garbage that I probably bought, ranging from sporting goods (a basketball!) to electronics (computer peripherals) to cans of Chef Boyardee.



2) Buffalo Wild Wings-  The BW3 was right down the street from my hotel, and given the Madness that comes with March, I spent way too much money and brain cells in this place.  Plus, I don't reccommend eating honey barbecue wings every night for a month...



3) The Outlet Malls-  Let's just say that the Orlando Outlet Malls are quite possibly the most dangerous place in all of Florida.  About 3.6 billion tourists flock there every Saturday, causing hellacious traffic around I-4 and Apopka Vineland Road (where I stay at).  And if you ever want to go to the outlet mall to shop, forget it.  The parking lot is like the GA 400 on Friday afternoon. (Weird, I think I just used that similie backwards). Anyway, you get the picture.



4) Tolls-  I'm convinced that the entire state of Florida is paved with toll roads.  Every few miles you're required to pay some amount of money.  The real bummer is there's no cookies at the Toll Houses. 



5) The music at the ballpark- Disney has a strict program that involves playing the exact SAME music in the exact SAME order every day at the ballpark.  It's like Groundhog Day without Bill Murray, although I did punch Ned Ryerson in the face.  At least it was a guy that looked like Ned Ryerson.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad.  I got to hang with the venerable Ben Acree and Josh Hall a few times at the Orlando Ale House...okay, once.  The same trio of Ben, Josh, and I got to see NOFX at the House of Blues where we corrupted the young.  Actually, we were almost corrupted by a young man we called "TREEFER", inspired by his unwillingness to accept the fact that he was mistaken as to the common nicknames for marijuana.  He insisted that "Treefer" had made it into the lexicon, but we were unable to find anyone to corroborate his story.  Either way, it was impressive to see an underage kid drink as much as he did while keeping his cavalier attitude.  While he was waiting for his parents to pick him up from the concert, we dubbed him "TREEFER: TRUE AMERICAN BADASS."

I'm dead serious when I say that I wish I had kept up with his progress. *sigh*.



I am looking forward to my time at Spring Training, mostly weekends and one full week right in the middle of March...so there will be plenty of time for the fun stuff, with only 1/3 the trips to Wal Mart.

In case you haven't read/seen/heard, the New York Yankees have signed free-agent 1st baseman and former Brave Mark Teixeira to an 8 year contract worth $180 million damn dollars.  That's an average salary of about 22.5 million.

Many people in the baseball world have been critical of the move, contending that the Yankees are "out of control" in their spending, and they are "ruining the sport".  Others have praised the Bombers, admiring the organization's committment to "putting a good product on the field".

I'm going to address these claims one by one.

1) The Yankees are "out of control" with their spending-  This phrase should be reserved for someone who is spending money they don't have, or spending at such an alarming rate that they won't have any in the foreseeable future.  For reference, listen to the Dave Ramsey Show on 640 WGST to hear what these people sound like.   

The phrase should never be used with the Steinbrenners because a) they HAVE ridiculous amounts of money, b) their money is making so much money that they could never run out, and c) I've never heard George, Hank, or Hal call in the Dave Ramsey Show.

Here's an interesting sidenote on the Steinbrenners.  Despite having a "double jewish" name (Stein+Brenner), they are not members of the tribe.  Mitch Evans and I speculate that the names cancel each other out.  The same, however, cannot be said about the predilection of the late actor Peter O'Toole.

2) The Yankees are "ruining the sport"-  Why?  Because they choose to spend their profits on (seemingly) improving the team? 

The Yankees are worth an astounding 1.026 BILLION dollars.  George Steinbrenner bought the team for 10 million in 1973.  In the last 35 years, he's increased the value times 100.  Pretty good ROI, huh? 

"But Jake, I read that the Yankees LOST money last season"...

To which I counter:  "PSSSH, you can't read."

True, they did lose 50 mil in operating costs.  However, they more than recouped that money with their TV deal.  They own %38 of the YES Network, which is worth another BILLION dollars.  It also generates 200 million in revenue each year.  So yeah, 50 million, 50 SCHMILLION...

Let's put it this way, the Yankees losing 50 million is like you or me losing 5 bucks on roulette.  Actually, it's more like losing a nickel in your couch...you don't notice when it happens, and there's a great probability that you'll get it back anyway.

The right question to ask is "why are the Yankees worth so much?"

The answer is simple: 

They are among the most storied franchises in Major League Baseball.  They Yankees are the team of Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, and Mantle. They have won more World Series than any other team.  They play in the biggest city in the USA.

They are synonymous with baseball, and thus synonymous with America. 

Steinbrenner understands this, and he's built the "Evil Empire" by feeding it an healthy diet of cash.

Brewers owner Mark Attanasio complained in an email to whatshisface, "At the rate the Yankees are going, I'm not sure anyone can compete with them. Frankly, the sport might need a salary cap."

I've got two three words for you, Mr. 'tanasio:  TAMPA BAY RAYS.

Last I checked, the Rays are the defending AL Champs.  Plus, your team hasn't played in the American League since 1998.  Why don't you focus on winning your lackluster division and quit worrying about what the Yanks are doing?

Sorry, that was a bit harsh.  I'm sure he's referring to the state of the sport and a bunch of stuff that <sarcasm>lil ol' me couldn't comprehend.</sarcasm>

Plus, when is the last time the Yankees won the World Series?  The Marlins beat them in 2003, (*shakes fist*) The MARLINS!  I'll elaborate on this point in a bit...keep reading.

The most intelligent thing I've read regarding all these criticisms is the point made by other unnamed small-market GMs:

From Buster Olney's blog:

 "They just got a luxury-tax bill of $26.9 million, didn't they?" another AL official asked rhetorically. "They always pay, don't they? The other teams cash their checks, don't they?"

Nail, meet hammer.

For those who may not be familiar with the inner workings of baseball, teams that spend over a certain amount in payroll have to pay a luxury tax.  This money is distributed among the clubs who stay below a certain payroll.  It's applied Obamanomics.  "Spreading the wealth around" so to speak.

While the Yankees are spending crazy money, other teams are reaping the benefits.  The luxury tax is an important piece of revenue for some small market teams, but it doesn't always go back into the team.  Some owners just view it as profit, straight to the bottom line.

So tell me, who's greedy?

I think I just gave any Yankees fans reading a mega-huge...smile on their collective faces.

BUT, to quote Wally from Woodstock, "This is where the milk turns sour."

Just because the Yankees feel the need to commit upwards of half a BILLION dollars in free-agent contracts, does not mean they are "putting a good product on the field".

Sidebar:  I hate when people refer to baseball as "product". "Product" is something you buy at the store.  You don't buy baseball at the store.  You experience baseball at a stadium, a yard, a park, or a field.  You learn baseball from your father, you play baseball with your friends--for hours...all day everyday if you could.  Referring to it as "product" takes away all the qualities that make us love it.  So if you have ever said "put the best product on the field", cut it out.  Same goes with rock music.

What I mean is simply this:

A collection of great players does not a great team make.

When the Yankees dominated the Postseason in late 90s, they didn't have A-Rod  Johnny Damon, or Jason Giambi.  Instead, they had guys like Scott Brosius, Paul O'Neil, and Tino Martinez. 

Oh yeah, remember Shane Spencer?  Probably not.  What about Chili Davis?  Maybe from his Minnesota days...but yep, he was a 1999 Yankee.

It makes logical sense that a group of the best players will yield the best team, but it's not always the case...in fact, it SEEMS the opposite.

Take my earlier example of the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays.  While they have a ton of talent on that team, it was hardly a collection of high-priced free agent All-Stars.  The Rays built from within, and then strategically signed some free agents to make the TEAM better...pretty much what the Yankees did in the late 90s.

But after losing the 2001 World Series to the Diamondbacks, the Yanks signed Giambi.  After losing the 2003 series to the Marlins, they trade for A-Rod and sign Gary Sheffield.  After collapsing in the 2004 ALCS, they signed Carl Pavano (for $40 Million!) and trade for Randy Johnson.  After again failing to win it all in 2005, they overpay for an aging Johnny Damon...and so on.

I realize that a team's goal during the off-season is to improve...but do they always have to give the #1 free-agent a contract that's out of line with market value?  I guess the answer is yes.  There's no doubt the Yankees subscribe to the philosophy of "Go big or go home."  But how has that workin' out?

I blame fantasy baseball.  The idea that statistics are of the utmost importance is the root of the problem.  The only statistic that matters at the end of the season is the "W" (not the President).

Okay, I think I've made the point here.  When you sign a bunch of good players, you have just that, a bunch of good players.  Getting those players to work together as a team and win is the trick.

Forgive me for fizzling out at the end here, it's 6am the day after Christmas...

Happy Damn New Year!

JC

...get it?  Because it's the off-season, and it's also getting close to the holidays?  Clever, huh?

Baseball's off-season is a strange time.  While most people use this time to watch other sports,  we baseball nerds continuously refresh their browsers in hopes of finding the blockbuster trade or free agent signing of the off-season. 

I'm sorry to report, for the 12th off-season in a row, I have yet to be offered a contract with any of the 30 Major League teams.  *Sigh*.

In between clicks of the mouse, I managed to take a few trips this off-season:

1) Sarasota, FL-  my girlfriend guilted me into spending a weekend with her family in Venice, FL, just South of Sarasota, actually.  To my surprise, her "family" is synonymous with "bunch of hard-partying drunks."  I tried to embarass myself as much as possible, but every time I would do something completely outlandish, i.e. scream at my "Flip Cup" teammates while wearing a pair of children's swimming goggles shaped like the Creature from the Black Lagoon's face, her father and uncles would high five me.  I'm not going to lie, hanging out with them made me feel like a rock star.

2) My hometown of Memphis, TN.  I love this town, but when I hear that my friends are getting pistol-whipped at my favorite dive bar, it's time to dial down the amount of time I spend in the actual City of Memphis. 



3) Austin, TX- By far the most fun I've had this off-season to date.  I got a really cheap flight into San Antonio, caught a ride with my nemesis, Jason Babin, to Austin where I did the following:

1) Co-directed a music video.
2) Saw one of my favorite bands, Rival Schools, at Fun Fun Fun Fest (video above).
3) Went on a police ride-along with Deputy Robert Kee of the Williamson County Police Department.
4) Witnessed Deputy Kee kick a door down.
5) Volunteered to be tasered.

If that's not a full weekend in Texas, I don't know what is.


Rawr.


4) New Orleans, LA-  The Big Easy.  New Orleans did not get this nickname because of its non-navigable streets and impossible parking.  I'm pretty sure it was named the "Big Easy" to describe the process for recognizing prostitutes.  As you can see, I made friends with a concrete lion.

5) Memphis, TN- again.

So there it is.  The Jake Cook Off-Season Tour.  I'm back in Atlanta now until Christmas week, when I'll make my third trip to the River City.

In the meantime, here's the word on the Braves:

Traded a minor-league bashing catcher named Tyler Flowers along with infield speedster Brent Lillibridge and two other prospects to the Chicago White Sox for workhorse starter Javier Vazquez and lefthanded bullpen project Boone Logan.

All you need to know is that the Braves bolstered the starting rotation with a solid #3 starter and a lefty reliever with a kickass name.

Also, today the Braves finalized a deal bringing catcher David Ross on board to backup Brian McCann.  Ross is a more than servicable Major League catcher, and a definite offensive upgrade over Corky Miller.  I think that Bobby Cox will be able to lean a bit more on Ross to give McCann a few more days off throughout the season.

All the industry sources are saying that the Braves are the frontrunners to land hard throwing right hander A.J. Burnett.  After opting out of his contract with the Blue Jays, Burnett projects to be the 2nd most sought after free-agent pitcher, the top pitcher of course being C.C. Sabathia. 

Burnett is the type of guy who has made a living off of his potential, but had a breakout year in 2008 in which he won 18 games for the Jays.  He could parlay last season into a 5 year, 75 million dollar deal as the Braves ace in 2009, according to various online sources.

The other piece of the puzzle is a power hitting leftfielder.  I have heard read the rumor that Adam Dunn is a possibility, but I've also heard the opposite.  I think the Braves could do a lot worse than Dunn.  Many people cite his low batting average, high strikeout totals, and poor defense as reasons he is not a viable option.  Of course, all three of those criticisms could be made about Phillies 1st baseman and former MVP, Ryan Howard.

The flipside of those criticisms is that he has a fantastic on-base percentage, scores nearly 100 runs per season, and has hit exactly 40 HR per year for the last 4 years.

The bottom line is that if you are specifically looking for a power-hitter (power = HR), Adam Dunn is the best available within a reasonable salary range.

Plus, he's so Bunyanesque.  At 6'5", 250 lbs...just give him an axe and a blue ox and you have the protagonist of a tall tale.  Forget the axe, he can just pull tree stumps out of the ground with his bare hands.  He can blow bubbles with beef jerky.  When he does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

Until next time...

Hi Friends.

Greetings from Philadelphia!  Weird day...

I got a phone call while enjoying a tasty cheese steak on South Street.  The phone call was from the venerable Grant McAuley. 

Here's a brief synopsis:

Jake: Hello
Grant:  Hey Jake, has anyone from the stadium called you?
Jake: No.  Should I be expecting a call?
Grant:  Well.  The bumper is ripped off your truck.
Jake:  WHAT?
Grant:  You've got the Isuzu Trooper with the Rhodes College license plate, right?
Jake:  Yes.
Grant:  I thought so.  The bumper is ripped completely off.
Jake:  In the players lot at Turner Field?
Grant: Yes
Jake: What the hell?
Grant:  I'll take a picture of it on my phone and send it to you.  How are things?
Jake:  Well, they were fine until just now.  I'm going to make some calls to find out just what the hell is going on.
Grant:  Alright man, I think you're a golden god and I only hope I can one day be as handsome and successful as you.

(okay, so I made up that last part)

Anyway, just as promised, Grant sent me this picture:




Mind you, my truck was parked in the secure players lot at Turner Field. 

So I leave "Steaks on South" (props to a fine sandwich) and start calling people who might have a clue as to how my bumper was liberated from my Trooper.

First up, Brad Hainje, handsome PR man for the Braves.

No Dice.  Brad has no idea what has happened.  He does find it fishy that some woman named Linda earlier in the day had asked "who from the radio station is on the current roadtrip?".  Helpful as always, Brad agrees to investigate the matter and get back to me after he eats lunch.

Next call, Josh Hall, assistant visiting clubhouse manager for the Atlanta Braves (who has horrible taste in both college basketball and film).

Josh was very helpful, especially since I only needed to get the phone number of Chris Van Zant.

As I was getting CVZ's digits, I serendipitously encountered none other than Bill Acree, the Braves Traveling Secretary, walking down the street.

"Hey Bill, did my car somehow get wrecked?" I inquire.

"Yeah, someone hit it or something.  I got an email, but I really don't know what happened.  You should call Vernon Nix," he answers.

Vernon Nix is the head of Security for the Atlanta Braves.  I emailed him to find out what happened.

For the hell of it, I called Chris Van Zant to see if he knew anything.  He doesn't.

Within 25 minutes, Vernon gave me all the info I needed:  a brief synopsis, an insurance claim number, a phone number, etc.

And then Brad Hainje called back.  At this point, his phone call was moot, but I feel as though I need to let you know that he actually called back.  I would hate for anyone to think that Brad is a non-caller-backer based on this blog, ya know?

It turns out that one of Vernon's employees had a brain brake failure and damaged not only my truck, but the vehicles of two of the Braves players.

I also heard that it was this poor guy's first day on the job. Ouch. 

Now that I know everything is being taken care of, I can't help but feel sorry for the dude who hit the cars.  I'm no stranger to at-fault accidents.  I was nicknamed "the crash king at nineteen" when I was...well, 19.  I caused 5 accidents in 3 different vehicles.  My dad joked that I specialized in "turning cars into accordions," which wasn't really funny at the time.  It's not even really funny now, but it hurts my feelings less.

It's an awful feeling, getting in a car accident.  You feel dumb, embarrased, incompetent, and stupid all at the same time.  It also isn't easy on your bank account.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who helped me get a handle on the situation.  Anyone who knows me knows that I'm really not good at "not worrying" about unresolved issues, especially when it involves my ride.

Stay tuned for the story of the Philly Weiner Scare.

All the talk around the ballpark is the imminent trade of Braves Centerfielder Mark Kotsay.  Multiple news sources are reporting that he will be dealt to the Boston Red Sox sometime tonight.



It's not surprising, as Kotsay is a veteran who can help the contending Red Sox clinch a playoff appearance, but it's never fun when a team loses a class act like Mark Kotsay.

Mark is they type of guy who is always interested in what you have going on.  On multiple occasions, he's engaged me in conversation- whether it be about my job, my music, or whatever.  There aren't a lot of people in this business who actually care what you have to say, especially if you're a "behind the scenes" type of guy.
 
Regardless of where Kotsay ends up, he's the type of guy who will undoubtedly make his new team better, on the field and in the clubhouse.

...and with his lovely wife in tow, Mark and company makes the family section of any ballpark that much better looking.





Good luck, Kots. Go get you a ring.

Some of you may have heard Pete talking to Mark Lemke about how confusing it is to get around in New Busch Stadium in St. Louis. 

Here's an example of why:



That's the door to the broadcast area in New Busch Stadium.  As if it's not hard enough to find (it's situated behind a concession stand in the "Redbird Club"), what's that sign to the right?



The door to the broadcast area is clearly marked "Women's Restroom".  I really have no explanation for this...

Pete ended up in the actual women's restroom twice, once in 2006, and again in 2007..

...and I'm not just saying that because he became the 1st Atlanta Brave in 21 years to hit for the cycle, erasing Albert Hall as the answer to that particular trivia question.  That doesn't hurt his case, but it's not the only reason.



Yesterday, I brought my longtime friend and co-worker, Forrest Martin, to the ballpark to record some baseball sound effects for his audio catalogue.  Forrest is a producer whose work includes 640 WGST's "Remembering Skip" tribute, a project which he "knocked out of the park, so to speak.

Now, Forrest is not a baseball guy.  He's more of a "Mario Kart" guy.  He'd be the first to tell you this.  Just look at him:




I got Forrest set up by the cage during batting practice so he could get some good bat crack sounds.  Armed with "Bill", his trusty recorder (a high end sony model, MSRP $2000), Forrest was like a sharpshooter, getting the best angle to hit his mark.


    Meet Bill.  Bill is expensive.  And Sexy.

Speaking of Mark, that's when I saw Kotsay walking toward the cage.  I told Kotsay that my buddy Forrest was getting some bat crack sound effects, so "swing hard and loud".  I then went upstairs to catch up on some work.

When I looked down at the cage, I saw that Kotsay was asking Forrest about "Bill".  He seemed totally engrossed in the recorder.  Forrest told him that, if he wanted, he could take "Bill" down to the bullpen to get some good "mitt pop" sound effects.  Mark was more than happy to do it.

It just so happened that Kotsay later hit for the cycle, completeing the game with 5 hits- matching his career high.

Forrest (mind you, not a baseball guy) was more excited than anyone.  Since Kotsay was so nice to him, Forrest "adopted" the Braves CF as his new favorite player.  I told Forrest that he should put something together for Mark, to comemmorate such an achievement.

The first idea was to create a montage of all his hits, set to the tune of "Fake it" by Seether (Kotsay's batting music).  While Forrest was working on this, he had another idea.  

Behold:  Click Here

ENJOY!

As you know, last week was a tough one.  It was probably the most difficult week I've experienced in my professional career. 

There was one bright spot, however, during the 7th inning of the Braves vs. Diamondbacks on Thursday.

As many of you know, we have a three contests that run during the games.  We always announce the contestants and where they are from.



On Thursday, we had a contestant named Richard Hetzel from Ooltewah, TN.  As so often is the case, we had no idea where this particular city was located.  I found a map of Ooltewah (which is in Hamilton County, TN- just outside of Chattanooga), and along with it, a sound byte that demonstrated the proper pronunciation.

The sound byte made us laugh so hard between innings, Pete decided that we were going to use it on the air..

The following madness ensued: Click Here

I've never seen Pete laugh so hard in the 3 years I've worked with him, and he's right, we needed it.

I'll quote my former colleague Brad Golder (who was listening).

"The unflappable Pete Van Wieren has been undone by the power of Ooltewah!"